By Rone Barton - NOVEMBER 1988
Nasty new ways to disguise and hide a Golem
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It’s an old pastime by now. The player characters enter a dungeon room, see something that is obviously a golem, and pull out their swords. Gamers who have been playing for 10 years know the rules; they know where most of the traps are and they've probably killed most of the monsters in the Monster Manual II index. Well, with a little cleverness, the DM can still outsmart them. Adventures would take on a fascinating twist if many golems were disguised or camouflaged. I've listed some possible suggestions to use for keeping golems from looking like golems. Most of these refer only to stone golems, but some may be used for other types. Note that if the golem is supposed to be mistaken for something else, it must have a way of cleaning up old victims. Victims are surprised by disguised golems on a 1-4 on a 1d6 roll. More than one golem may be used in each case, if the DM is especially nasty.
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1. The golem is completely recessed into the wall, completely unnoticeable because the golem’s flat front matches the texture of the wall.
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2. The golem is recessed into the wall as part of a bas-relief. It may complete a scene (e.g., .You see a wall which depicts a battle scene among men and devils. One particularly large man killing devils seems to dominate the picture.").
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3. The golem is seated in a large stone chair (like a statue) and wears a valuable amulet, holds a staff, etc. If anyone touches the golem's possession, the golem is activated. The held item may also work to the golem’s advantage in some way.
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4. The golem is kneeling down with its hands placed in such a way that one could climb its hands like stairs. The golem’s eyes are gems. Activation of the golem occurs when the gems are touched . or else when some other set of circumstances occurs that the PCs do not expect.
5. The golem is recessed in the floor and activates when someone steps on it. The entire front portion of the golem’s body is flat and smooth like the floor.
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6. The golem is concealed under thousands of loose coins. Its activation occurs when the coins are disturbed. After slaying the intruders, the golem covers itself back up.
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7. The golem is created without a head and is laid on the ground. A phony golem head lies beside it. Adventurers who are not aware that decapitation cannot slay a golem ( DMG, page 166) may think that the golem has been destroyed. Of course, a real decapitated iron golem whose head still breathes poison gas is an interesting idea; the body and head could work together to destroy intruders from two directions.
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8. The golem is placed lying down, recessed in a cave floor with its frontal body covered with stalagmite- or rockshaped formations.
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9. The golem is covered with a thin sheet of gold or silver to give it the appearance of a valuable statue.
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10. A golem resembling a large cherub stands in a dancing pose in the center of a fountain.
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11. Two golems stand on either side of a doorway, resembling huge caryatid columns (but much more dangerous).
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12. The golem is placed among many normal statues, all of which have Nystul’s magic aura cast upon them.
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13. The golem resembles a wise old sage studying a book (but the book might be an integral part of the golem’s arm). Dressing up flesh golems can be amusing.
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14. A flesh golem could be made to resemble a humanoid being of a similar size, such as a powerful gnoll, bugbear, small ogre, and so forth. Aside from using its fists (perhaps a large ogrillon is a good disguise), the golem could also wear armor and use simple protective devices.
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15. A golem could have a special perch over a room’s entrance, from which it jumps onto any characters passing underneath. Damage varies but would be extreme (10-60 hp for a stone golem, or 10-100 hp for an iron golem). The distance fallen should not be too great to avoid smashing the golem or having it bury its feet in the ground.
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16. The golem is hidden behind a secret door. When characters pass through the door, they step on a pressure plate; one round later, the golem pursues them from behind. This golem could have its feet wrapped in a soft material that would absorb the sound of its footsteps, or else be enchanted to move silently.
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17. The golem resembles an embarrassed naked giant trying to cover itself with its hands. If encountered in a silly dungeon, this disguise might prove very effective. Other silly but deadly appearances could include huge pink apes, clowns, etc.
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18. Imagine a huge room full of golems, or else just one golem and a bunch of statues, shaped as chess pieces. They would attack when the adventurers moved onto a certain position.
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19. The golem is hidden underwater in a river channel or a deep pool which fills up the entire room. When a character passes over it, the golem pulls him underwater with one arm (only a roll to hit being required) and attack with the other arm. After that character is dead, the golem moves on to another, not attacking anyone but a character it grabs. Drowning rules would apply. The water might also be poisoned or contaminated in some manner. Flesh golems would decay and iron golems would rust, so clay and stone golems would work best.
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20. Given the golem-in-the-pool described above, the golem’s head might appear to be a flat stone pedestal which characters could use as a stepping stone, perhaps in the middle of the body of water.
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21. The golem’s back is rectangular, flat, and smooth. When the golem sits with its back facing an oncoming party, it looks like a large stone block - perhaps a door.
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22. The golem waits underneath a secret trapdoor in the floor. If the trapdoor opens, the victim drops in with the golem. Combined with one of these other ideas, this could be a deadly combination attack.
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23. The golem has permanent darkness 15ft radius spell cast around it. The golem might not suffer penalties to hit victims if enchanted to detect prey in some manner other than by sight.
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24. The golem’s body is pockmarked with holes which contain soil in which seeds were planted. The golem should appear to be one large decorative plant holder, green from head to toe with vines. If carnivorous plants are used, watch out!
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25. The golem might hold two huge torches as if he were an elaborate sconce. The torches might themselves be usable as weapons.
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26. The golem’s midsection is hollow, with many pockets and perches for birds to roost. The golem should resemble something cute, like a demented mage’s idea of a birdhouse.
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27. The golem has a permanent invisibility spell cast on it, so that it can attack without being seen.
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28. The golem has an animal-shaped head and corresponding animal-like hands. Clawed hands could do extra or unusual sorts of damage, and an advanced golem design might even bite.
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29. Consider variations on the given types of golems, like a stone golem that can throw flesh to stone spells, or a dehydrated flesh golem, such as the one in area 17 of .The Ruins of Andril," from DRAGON® issue #81. What about a halfling-size flesh golem with reduced powers?
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30. Cover the golem with an illusion that makes it seem to be something else.
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These examples should work well on most everyone. If you're playing with people who have read this article or who were not tricked by these disguises, try to think up new ways to fool them. No one can be so careful as to check every square foot of ground in front of him. If you know anyone who is, put the golem on the ceiling!
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